How do you Do It? (Review)

How do you Do It?

An enlightening journey of discovery

Right…,

*Ahem*

Son, sit down… Its time we talked about the birds and the bees…

As I have no idea how to begin this review (Let alone if it come to explaining the reality to an actual child lets take a look at the Steam store page description; ‘ “how do you Do It?” puts players in the role of an 11-year-old girl whose mother has just stepped out for an errand. The girl immediately grabs her dolls and furtively attempts to figure out how sex works using these plastic surrogates’ I read this and watch the videos from the store page. A pretty young girl explains that, as a twelve year old girl when her parents went out she would mash her dolls together to simulate sex, not understanding what sex really meant… Fair enough. We are then greeted to the rest of the team, and whilst all the time respecting the fact that these devs have released a game (With a positive review average I might add) I cant help but find the whole thing a little odd, almost leaning towards being a bit… Unnerving.
The game begins with some childrens book style graphics, your mother leaves the house and drives away, allowing the perverse girls mind to wander and the horror to begin. The actual playable portion of the game has no thought-provoking impact (unlike the nature of such a game) and just continually made me and my friends cry with laughter, especially whilst trying to insert Barbies head up Kens butt (I take it i’m doing it wrong?). The purpose seems to be that it is a challenge game at its core, with a twist from the mind of a once extremely naive girl, you have to see how many times you could make them clang together the right ways, at the end of the session a message adorns the screen;

‘You might have had sex 123 times..?
And you didnt get caught”!”

Lovely.

The game begins again and the mother leaves, the more I think on it the more sinister it all seems, the infinite loop, the cheery childrens art style…Of course this is made all the more horrific by the 11-year-old girls facial expressions of equal disgust and satisfaction as the dolls clang together triumphantly.

Somehow I ended up on the weird side of the internet… And the masses of weirdos we’ve become accustomed to absolutely love it! for me… 0/100, this isn’t a game, and not even in the ‘Its a walking simulator’ sense.. This could have been made very humourous and less weird with a comical take on the matter, perhaps grown men or something, but as a child, gleefully smashing Ken and Barbies plastic brains out whilst smiling and squirming… Its more than a little odd.

[ 0 / 100 ]

– Hardcore2dacore

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Founder & owner of Absolute Hell.